Extraordinarily healthy relationships are built on strong personal boundaries.


Whether it’s friends, coworkers, significant others, kids or family – boundaries which define the relationship need to be set and enforced so that you and others will understand your limits.

When people enter into relationships with weak or no boundaries, they risk being misunderstood. Eventually, resentment and anger sets in because others have no clue about what you will or won’t tolerate, and take advantage of you at every turn.

Unfortunately, many of us haven’t learned the skill of setting good and stable personal boundaries – much less, how to enforce them. Here are five ways that setting strong personal boundaries can help your relationships thrive:

  • Know your own limits. When you know exactly what you can tolerate and what makes you uncomfortable, you can better communicate them to others. Knowing your boundaries will help others maintain a good relationship with you.
  • Be direct in communicating. Beating around the bush so as not to hurt feelings can give people mixed signals about your boundaries. It’s best to be polite, but firm, so they’ll know exactly where you stand.
  • Use your “gut” instinct. Sometimes, you may not know exactly why you feel uncomfortable with a certain person or situation. Tune in to your feelings and get to the bottom of why you’re feeling uncomfortable and then communicate that feeling to the other person.
  • Make yourself a priority. When you make yourself the main priority in your life, you’ll have the peace of mind and energy level to take care of others. Those in your sphere will appreciate the self-confidence and optimism you bring to the relationship.
  • Be more aware of your true feelings. Self-awareness can provide an insight that should help enormously in setting healthy boundaries and establishing healthy relationships with those in your life. When you know exactly what and how something is bothering you, you can more easily communicate it to others.

When setting boundaries in your relationships, you must get rid of the fear and self-doubts that often plague those who are new to setting personal boundaries.

You can’t please everyone, all of the time. Be kind to yourself.

Know that you deserve to have set boundaries and enforce them with those in your sphere.

If you’re new to setting boundaries and are having problems developing and setting the best ones for you, seek support from someone you trust – counsellor or life coach who can get you started and help you follow through.

Others will have more respect for you if you garner self-respect in yourself by setting boundaries and preserving them.

Be bold! You won’t regret it.

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